On the Extinction of Species and Yes Means Yes

Sometimes you will witness something of such monumental stupidity that you can only let your jaw go slack and stare in disbelief.  What I have embedded below is nothing short of appalling.

Behold what sex will look like under the “yes means yes” standard which feminists are pushing.

This is not a comedy skit.  It is not a parody.  It is an actual video put out by students at Concordia University in Montreal to show the only proper (and soon, if they have their way, the only legal) way to have sex.

There are a few things you will notice once your brain stops spewing fluid from the containment breach in its incredulity engine.  First off, there are several times when each of the people in the video either does something without asking consent, or where they start doing something before they receive an answer.   By the standards which this video is trying to promote both partners have committed rape, or sexual assault, or usury, or sodomy with intent to create a lawyer, or whatever the offense is that they are trying to prevent.  Words have no meaning to these people so really, who the hell knows?  It just shows that they can’t live up to the standards they propose even long enough to make a video showing how wonderful those standards are.

Secondly, they do not include trigger warnings along with a check-box which allows you to determine if you want to proceed with watching more of a guy being shorn of his manhood in the most humiliating fashion imaginable.  They should have stopped the video and provided a description of what comes next so that each of us could determine if we wanted to participate.  As it is, I think I have been raped by this video.  I know I will experience some sort of PTSD now and I fear I might not ever be able to have normal sex with my wife again.  Certainly, it will take a series of treatments involving… well… I would tell you, but that would be tantamount to raping you and we don’t get all rapey up in here.  Not on Tuesdays.  The patriarchy has to work in the morning.

Thirdly, if it came down to a choice between starring in this video or one of the terrorist beheading videos I would gladly choose the latter because at least I would get to die with my dignity intact.  There is no recovery from making this bit of agitprop.  The memory and stench of it will haunt this guy for all of his days upon this earth, and rightfully so.  No woman with any respect for either herself or for men in general will have him, and no man will look him in the eye once they know how he emasculated himself in this production.  We live in a culture where a man who used an intern’s coochie as a humidor was once seen as the most fit to lead us.  You would think we would be beyond shame.  This video has restored my faith that we aren’t there yet and we have depths yet to plumb.

There is a lot of sick and twisted pornography on the net (for values of the net equaling “my hard drive”)  but none of it is as bad as this because none of it purports to tell people that there is only one way to have sex.  None of it takes the passion and joy out of sex as thoroughly as this one does.  None of it is as ridiculous and unnatural.  Not even the cakefarting stuff (really, don’t Google it… just… don’t…    OK, are you back yet?).

Even as an educational tool this piece of crap fails.  The video is supposed to answer your questions about what the new standard is, but instead you are left with even more questions such as:

Just how finely do we have to slice the onion here?  If you ask, “May I kiss you.” and receive a positive answer does that give you carte blanche for the rest of the night or do you have to ask for each successive kiss?  What if you kiss a while, then do something else and then come back to kissing again?  How long does permission last?  Does your bed need a timer like the shot clock in basketball?  Should there be a buzzer if you fail to get your shot off in time?

Do you have to ask when you move to kiss another area?  And if so then how finely do you need to parse the areas?  For instance, do you have to call out which toe you want to suck?  Does the little piggy go oui, oui, oui or does it say no, no, no?  And does it speak for all of the piggies?

What if one party moves or the other has poor aim?  You might have permission for the vagina but what if you miss and stick it in her — ear?  If you think this is impossible to achieve accidentally then I have just two words for you — trampoline sex.

What if one party has his, or her mouth full?  Can you go on grunts?  One for yes, two for no.  Or do you need to arrange some sort of semaphore?  Would flags or flash cards have to be involved?

What if you are deaf?  Are you doomed to only have sex with the lights on so you can see the sign language of your partner?  Do you always have to have your eyes open so you can see if your opponent, I mean your mate taps out?  And if going by nonverbal signals is OK for deaf people then why is it not for the rest of us?

How does any of this help avoid a “he said, she said” situation?  You are still left with her claiming to have asked if he would wear the sock puppet and his claiming that he never assented to any such thing and never asked anyone to call his penis Senor Wences.  How are you going to sort that out?

How is this standard any better than the “no means no” standard?  Can anyone even conceive of a situation where an alleged rapist, who will ignore a woman screaming “no,” will be deterred by the thought that he might have left something off his checklist of items to ask BEFORE RAPING THE SHIT OUT OF SOMEONE?  Why would he just not lie about going through the checklist?

And can you imagine how mortifying this would be to the typical teenager trying to cop his first feel?  It is hard enough to work up the courage to get to that certain inflection point where you think your courage and her receptivity are both at the proper level.  Then you are going to have to verbalize it!  Hell no!  Guys are in a primitive ape state at that point and are incapable of speech.  All of the blood has rushed to their reddened faces (amongst other places) and there is none left for the speech center of the brain.  And most guys would as soon shoot themselves as to have to ask, “Pardon me my lady, but might I pet your puppies?”  And yes, that is exactly the phrase we would use because we are all so very sophisticated at that age.  I am pretty sure the entire race would go extinct from embarrassment.

Causes of extinction:

Dinosaurs – comet crashing into the earth causing the global devastation of nuclear winter.

Tasmanian Tiger – hunted to extinction by a technologically advanced apex predator

Humans – scared to say the word “titty”

 

And ostensibly, this standard is proposed because women are often unable to say “no” either due to intimidation, or shyness, or some other reason.  But what if they give permission for something, say vaginal intercourse, but change their minds?  They STILL have to say “no” unless we are talking about asking permission for each thrust.

The people who came up with this are clearly idiots who are in no danger of ever having sex, but still want to dictate to everyone else the conditions under which they would imagine it should occur.  They want everyone else to be as miserable and frustrated as they are.  They have the same fear that all totalitarians have, that somewhere, someone is having fun in a manner they do not approve of.   And of the people who ARE having sex who support this arrangement I guarantee you that precisely none point none none of them are actually following the rules they espouse.  You can’t convince me that even the people in the video were so lacking in self-awareness that they did not understand the foolishness of what they were doing once they tried to act it out.  They had to have had some of the same questions I have listed and there are no good answers to them.

The only effect of these standards is that more people’s lives will be ruined either by avoiding sex altogether, or by being held to some nebulous code of conduct which no one can define and which changes and morphs from one moment to the next while affording the accused no due process.  But then that is the point, isn’t it?

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