Thoughts on 2016

The main problem I see for the Republican Party in the upcoming presidential election is this — if you run on a platform of being the lesser of two evils then you really need to be the lesser evil.

Given how the Republican establishment has passed all of Obama’s priorities while ignoring those of the people who elected them they have left very little reason for anyone to bother going to the polls.  That is going to be a problem for them.

I have the candidates divided into those I will vote for, those I would stay home for, and those who would make me consider voting for the other side.  Jeb would be most likely to make me cast a vote for the Democrat for the first time in my life.  There isn’t enough difference between him and Hillary to be worth sweating and Hillary fears us more while hating us less than Jeb does.

So here is who I would vote for in no particular order:

Ted Cruz, Rick Perry, Carly Fiorina, Bobby Jindall, Rand Paul, Scott Walker

Here is who I would stay home for in no particular order:

Marco Rubio, George Pataki, Ben Carson, John Kasich, Rick Santorum

Here is who would make me consider voting for the Democrat:

Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, Lindsey Graham, Mike Huckabee

You will note that voting for any of the last group is essentially the same as voting for a Democrat, except in the case of Huckabee which would be voting for the Spanish Inquisition.

There are also some novelty candidates running on the Republican ticket who people do not know about:

Shawna Sterling – she believes that childhood obesity is caused by GMO’s and has pledged to eliminate them from school lunches.  Apparently there were no fat people when we manipulated genes in an inefficient manner through cross-breeding rather than more efficiently as we do today.

George Bailey – who takes 12 different medications daily (this is all the information I had on him)

Michael Bickelmeyer – This fellow proposes we weaponize a satellite platform to collect and focus sunlight on terrorists or drug dealers so as to fry them to a crisp.  He is also very worried about carbon emissions, but apparently feels as long as those emissions come from dead terrorists or drug dealers it is worth the trade-off.  He thinks eventually we could scale this weapon up enough it could be used on entire countries.  How heating a country into nonexistence with a directed energy weapon wouldn’t result in a tad bit more global warming than carbon emissions is something he hasn’t yet explained.  But even Einstein didn’t get things right the first time.

Donald Trump – A man who selflessly donated his body so a bad toupe’ might live.  Whatever that thing is on his head I am pretty sure it feeds on his brain.

All of that aside.  I can’t ever remember a time when there were five candidates running whom I would feel good about supporting (I don’t know Jindall well enough to have all of my reservations about him assuaged if you were wondering why there aren’t six).  Reagan was the last presidential candidate I didn’t have any real reservations about.

 

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