Mexico is Not Threatening to Recall its Citizens if Trump is Elected

There are lots of satirical sites around the web which have generated articles to the effect that Mexico will take certain steps if Donald Trump is elected president of the United States.  Supposedly the Mexican president will do everything from calling back Mexico’s citizens, to closing the border and cutting off trade.  These articles have fooled a lot of people because we live in times when it is hard to separate fact from fiction.  Seven years of totalitarian rule where the press has completely sold out to shill for lawlessness will do that to a person.

Here are some of my favorite quotes that were supposedly from the Mexican President (whose name I won’t look up because…. Mexico).

Many Americans have expressed a desire to relocate to our country in the event that Donald Trump becomes President. We can not have Mexico flooded with criminals and rapists. They are a violent nation and they won’t send us their best.

Since one thing Mexico and central/south America has way too much of is socialism I would have to agree that an influx of leftists would be the last thing they need.  It would be like importing sand into the desert.  Also, Miley Cyrus has pledged to leave the country if Trump is elected and I don’t think Mexico wants to draw the short straw in that lottery. Zika should be quite sufficient as a substitute.

In an interview with Telemundo, Nieto also announced that “further action will be taken by the Mexican government to ensure every single citizen of Mexico currently residing in the United States is brought home safely.”

That is not much of a threat.  I guess his original offer of dinner and a blowjob was rejected.

And when our people come back home, they will take our food, music, culture and all things Mexican along with them. And in case you’re reading this, Mr. Trump – yes, that does include Mexican prostitutes you’re so secretly fond of. So, you can forget about the Sunday night specials with all-you-can-undress free deals. Because, we know everything.

At least everything that was in Hillary’s e-mails.  And was I right about the dinner and blowjobs or what?

Finally, I would like to add that all of your professional athletes, actors and actresses and pretty much all celebrities can kiss the steroids and drugs goodbye. Your country is built on cocaine, heroin, crack, marijuana (which is a Spanish word, by the way) and steroids that have come to America through Mexico. Thanks to these substances, you were able to have Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jackson, Nirvana and pretty much your entire popular culture.

This is the nut graph of the statement where even the most slow witted are supposed to realize they are reading a parody.  The mythical president’s argument boils down to “we will take away all of your drugs and prostitutes because the citizens we are calling home are drug dealers and prostitutes.”

So why would people fall for something like this?

Well here are what Fox News says are some real quotes from former president of Mexico, Vicente Fox.

I’m not going to pay for that f***king wall

And on Trump:

He is the hated gringo because he’s attacking all of us. He’s offending all of us.

Then according to Fox News he went on to threaten not only a trade war, but a shooting war before adding;

Don’t play around with us, we can jump walls, we can swim rivers, and we can defend ourselves

No doubt due to all of the steroids…

If you would like to see a picture of him giving Trump the bird then you can click here.

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  • Bill

    I smell sarcasm. And parody. *whiff* yup. Parody. But if hey, getting trump elected means a portion of the illegals go home, then so be it, a small price to pay.